everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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