Me too!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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