you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish i was in the wii world.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
