Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
