just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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