With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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