Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
