I look better un-naked...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
