The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
