I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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