She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
