Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
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