My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
