I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
