They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
