she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
