he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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