Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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