Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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