I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
