FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
