Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
