my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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