another moral hangover. fuck.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
