My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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