Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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