Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
