She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
