after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
