It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Send help, water and tortillas.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
