he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
