What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
