i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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