She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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