Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have aggressive nipples.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
