my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
