I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
