based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
