he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
