i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
