I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
