i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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