i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
