yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
