Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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