Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
