My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize