Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Acid is not a monday night drug
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
