If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
