You don't have asthma, your pregnant
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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