I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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