I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
