Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
