rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
